Sleeping Beauty...

Hi Bloggies!

So far, it's been a really good week and not for any particular reason.. although I wish it was something I could pinpoint in order to recreate when having a not-so-great week!


Tuesday, I went to my dance class that I demo for and there was a video camera guy there filming for documentary on my dance teacher and things to do in Orange County. Maybe I'll be famous and can quit my "lawyer babysitting" job and just sit by the beach with a cocktail like the rest of the OC ladies ;) Anyway, I had a really great class and was full of energy. Maybe it's because there was a camera there, maybe it's because my mom came to watch me, or maybe it's because of the amazing sweet potato and 2 advil I had before class!


sweet potato= stamina, so I decided to stay for the advanced class. We finished up around 10ish and I was in bed by midnight :) Not without treating myself to some NF frozen yogurt though!!


Yesterday, I thought I had my GRE prep course from 7-10 pm, so I rushed home, changed, nuked a sweet potato in the microwave with some greens and then rushed to UC Irvine for the course. I thought I was going nuts because I couldn't find the classroom AT ALL! After walking around confused for a good 15 minutes, I finally got a hold of the phone number for the office... Turns out that the course doesnt start until Sunday! umm, seriously!? I proceeded home to take Kiki on a long walk and was in bed by 9:30. A-maze-ziiiing!


Woke up once around 1 but then slept straight through until 6 am when my alarm clock (aka my mom) called. Kiki and I went on a long walk and got back around 6:50 for some breakfast! I've been craving lemon so I made myself a lemon pancake with 2 egg whites, 1/3 cup fiber one cereal, 1 Tbsp Fage and 1 packet of Stevia.... Not too shabby :)








Lunch consisted of a salad mess with spinach, broccoli, lots of crimini mushrooms, 2 Tbsp of eggplant hummus, a serving of soy crisps, and soy/teriyaki marinated TVP.. I forgot how much I like TVP.. plus, it helps that it's so cheap.

However, it didn't satisfy me as much as the canned crab meat that I used on the same salad base yesterday.

I gave myself a challenge... it's not eating related (well not really). Basically, I'm trying to save money and I want to stop buying something every time I see something new at Whole Foods!! So, I'm not allowed to buy anything but fruits and veggies.. oh and dairy (yogurt and almond milk) until I use up what I have.
This includes:

• Proteins (fish, beans, etc)
• Cereal (I have Puffins, Kashi, Fiber 1, etc, etc...)
• Grains
• Breads or wraps!
• snacks
• Bars!

It's been a good day, I believe from all the extra sleep I got! I'm cancelled Therapy Thursdays (didn't feel i needed it today) and going to the gym with my mom after work. And... I finally got the name of a good orthopedic doctor to check out what's wrong with my knee.. I cant take it anymore and want to be able to jog again!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday! Any good plans for the weekend?

Taking Sam's lead, here are 38 questions for the people who are a little older...

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? All of them.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? I dont even remember the last romantic dinner I had! I've been on dates but they didnt seem all too romantic.

3. What do you really want to be doing right now???? Outside enjoying the sunshine!

4. How many colleges did you attend? CSU Sacramento(1 semester), Community College, UC Irvine

5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? Because coral is one of my favorite colors, it's comfy, cute, and give the image that I actually have some sort of chest.

6. What are your thoughts on gas prices? It could be worse.

7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? I was up before my alarm!! kudos for early-bird-bedtimes!

8. Last thought before going to sleep last night? "Jimmy Fallon isnt as funny on his own late-night show as he was on SNL"... I fell asleep to him on Hulu.

9. Do you miss being a child? Barbies, McDonalds Happy Meals where you could care less about the food because it comes with a toy, Saturday morning cartoons, being done with school by 3 pm, stickers, Disney movies, Oregon Trail computer game, board games, video games, Nano pets, MASH, jumprope songs, Home Alone... what's not to miss?!

10. What errand/chore do you despise? I'm like Monica from Friends---I love cleaning. I hate putting laundry away though.

11. Get up early or sleep in?Early

12. Have you found real love yet? yes. their name is EUROPE.

13. Favorite lunch meat? ehh not so much.

14. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? a headache.

15. Beach or lake? Beach

16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?Nope. i'm ocd, therefore, i love rituals.

17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives? 30 Rock.

18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? There are too many amazing people to choose from!

19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle? no, knock on wood.

20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? at a fire training.

21. Ring tone? default.. but I do have Bowchickawowwow on there!

22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth???? There's never a weird place to have clean hygeine!

23. Do you go to church? If I'm visiting a famous one somewhere like Notre Dame. Otherwise, no.

24. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? career career career.

25. How old are you?24 years

26. Do you have a go-to person? mostly my parents. we're pretty close.

27. Are you where you want to be in life? currently no, but i'm getting there.

28. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons? Smurfs, Bobbys World, Rugrats, Carebears, My Little Pony,

29. What about you do you think has changed the most? think as I've gotten older, I have begun to have a new found respect for history, other cultures, and religion. Things that I never really appreciated as a child. <--- I agree with Sam. I also think i've become more reserved or traditional when it comes to relationships compared to when I was younger.. Now i'm like "you what to do what on a first date?! I just met yoU!!!"

30. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life? nope, the best is yet to come. but they sure were fun.

31. Are there times you still feel like a kid? A kid, no.. but also NOT 24! I am proud of my independence but i'm still a daddys girl and like being taken care of when i visit home.

32. Did you ever own troll dolls? oh. heck. yes. i did.

33. Did you have a pager? yes, remember pager codes!!? haha. 143.

34. Favorite 90's drama?Full House, Family Matters, Saved by the Bell.

35. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with? yeah, i was ultra cool with my MC hammer neon pants and hot pink tank tops ;)

36.Who do you think impacted your life the most? my parents and a college professor who pointed me in the career direction i want to pursue.

37. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you? see above.

38. Do you tell stories that start with "when i was your age..."? never.

Love,

L

25...24...23...2.. one.. Liftoff!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

I hope everyone is sitting poolside with a margarita and some chips & salsa! or at least, that's where I wish I were right now!

Sunday

• Went to dance and only stayed for one class because of my knee. I still felt like I got a good workout though.
  
• Afterwards, I went with my friend Rachel up to Santa Monica. Her bf is a chef for a restaurant that had a catering event the next day. We helped him for about 5 minutes then ended up sitting and enjoying lemon bars he made for us, followed by a sample of the catered meal: pasta with marinara and lots of tomatoes :)
  
  
  My camera is acting weird hence the blurriness, but we had the entire restaurant to ourselves (it's closed on Sundays!)
  
  
• We walked around 3rd street promenade afterwards and then I headed home and went to Borders with my mom to catch up on some magazine reading!
  
  Monday:
• Definitely dropped my phone from the stairmaster at the gym and cracked the front screen! I still had a greeeaaattt (in tony the tiger's voice) workout, though!!
  
• I came home and made a pouch for dinner with some marinated TJs Mahi Mahi, asparagus, and lots of mushrooms (stef's fav!) .. Threw that baby in the oven for 20 minutes and unwrapped all of its goodness ;)

• Since I hate wasting veggies (bc i spend so much $$ on them!), I used the rest of my carrots for some carrot-bran muffins using the recipe from Self Magazine... I replaced the sugar with 1 Tbsp of Agave, added 1/2 cup wheat bran and 1/4 cup vanilla almond milk, substituted pumpkin for the oil, and used 1 cup carrots instead of only 1/2. I also cooked them for 15 minutes instead of the recommended 30!
  

One of those with pumpkin Fage (below) was my breakfast this morning. I had planned to have the yogurt last me 2 breakfasts but i finished it this morning. I had the sudden impulse to add up my breakfast calories this morning and had a mere freak out. I started to calm down when i realized that I make breakfast and lunch my larger meals and then eat light in the evening for dinner.

Since I never got around to the 25 survey tag, I finally did it today!! Hope everyone has a great Cinco de Mayo!!

1. I'm obsessed with artificial heat and have one of those space heaters that is constantly on ( i blame my mom for getting me hooked on this!). I try to make up for its high energy-sucking-contribution to global-warming by not running the central heat.

2. One summer, I trained with Alvin Ailey Dance Company in NYC and ever since then, I've wanted to live in a big city. Apparently, I forgot and moved to Orange County.

3. Growing up, I always wanted a sister so I would make my brother sit there while I curled his hair, did his make up and put him in dresses... Instead, I consider my two younger cousins the closest I'll ever come to having sisters.

4. The last couple years, I've turned into a morning person and i LOVE everything about it: being up before the world starts getting busy, BREAKFAST (!), and the Today Show.

5. However, I am still a night person and love staying up late. I need to figure out how to balance the two.

6. My favorite sport is leg wrestling. Thumb wrestling holds a close second.

7. My alarm clock is always 20 minutes fast. My car clock is 11 minutes fast. I am usually still late.

8. My favorite movie of all time is A League of Their Own even though I hate playing baseball/softball.

9. I've been to England, France, Switzerland, Australia, Italy, Ireland, and Mexico, yet I've never been to the Grand Canyon or Vegas which are less than 5 hours from me. It's pathetic.

10. When in doubt, I blame the quarter-life crisis.

11. I never liked maple syrup... I do however, like the fake stuff.

12. I used to HATE peanut butter. Sometimes I wish I still did!

13. When I "rescued" my dog as a puppy, they told me she would be the size of the mom who was 40 lbs.. umm, 75 pounds later... yeah, if anyone needs to be watching their weight, it's definitely Kiki.

Puppy Days

All grown up (with my brother)

14. My mom once got a hairless cat (like from austin powers). I thought it was the grossest thing until I had to cat-sit one night. I fell in love with it because it would fall asleep in my lap. It died the next day from a heart murmur.

15. My favorite Star Wars movie is the 7th one... wait, there's only 6, you say? My point exactly.

16. My mom let me have hamsters when I was little and I would put them in my barbie house to play with Barbie. I also thought it'd be a good idea to have a "pocket pet" with one until it got stuck in my zipper. My hamster days ended after that.

17. I would always sit Indian style in my desk chairs. My 6th grade teacher would call me Gumby.

8. I have never seen my dad without a beard. I don't think i want to either.

19. I'm just a girl....standing in front of the world...asking for it to love me. ;)

20. I love theme parties. For my last birthday, we had an "L" party for "Lauren" and everyone had to dress up as something that started with an L. I think the most creative costume was a girl that came as Lindsey Lohan and her boyfriend accompanied her as a 'line of cocaine'!!

21. I am ticklish the way Kiki is chubby.

22. I once decided for Halloween that I wanted to be a dining room table. (yeah, i dont know what spurred that idea).. but my parents made me the costume.

23. I like to watch movies at home in French with English subtitles turned on. The goal: to be fluent in another language before I croak.

24. I used to work in the research dept. of a psych ward doing brain scans and interviews with schizophrenic and bipolar patients. I had a panic attack one day and was convinced I was going to become schizophrenic so I quit the internship a couple months later. This is also partly why I wanted to leave my psych major and go to law school.

25. I lived with a boy 2 of the 4 years that we dated. Now, i refuse to live with a bf until there's some "icing" on my left ring finger.

I think most of my fellow bloggies have already done this but if you haven't then it's YOU I'm tagging! :)

EDIT: FYI Ladies: Megan has a GREAT blog and is holding her first giveaway of some pretty cool stuff! Also, Ashley is having a great contest giveaway of Indian food to help spice up your life!! Lastly, this lovely "Apple" is having a sweeeeeet contest in celebration of Mothers Day!!!

Super-Saturday

It has been an eventful Saturday!

• I woke up slept in until 8 and then got up to get ready for the farmers market with my mom. I did my regular routine of vitamins before making my tea.. Well my multi-chewable (yes i still take chewable vitamins, including the gummy ones) fell on the floor and let's just say that Kiki got her extra nutrients this morning! I thought about taking it from her but she was just way too entertaining to watch so I let her enjoy it. i figured she'd be okay.
  
  
  
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• Got ready and hit up the farmers market with my mom. She was a first-timer and loved it! We both got tons of veggies and fruit including buckets of CHERRIES! Don't' worry, afterwards we walked over to Trader Joe's to get my daily supply of yogurt and bat my eyes at the cute cashier from last week!
  
  
  

• I got these lovely daffodils from TJs! I love how fresh flowers totally girly up our condo!
  
  

• My mom headed to a dentist appt. (i know, who goes on a Saturday!?) and I was totally spontaneous and decided to try out this indoor rock climbing place since they have a climb-hour on Saturdays! It was a lot of fun and a great strength training workout since I can't run right with my knee.
  
• I headed over to my beloved Whole Foods to pick up a couple energy bars and a tea. While I was browsing the isles, I noticed this mom who was holding her adopted/foster daughter down on the floor who was obviously not well. I guess the girl was having a breakdown and has a lot of emotional issues and kept trying to run off unless the mom held her down. I asked if there was anything I could do to help.
  
  The poor mom felt helpless so I just started talking to the girl and trying to distract her from whatever it was she was upset about.. asked her about her HS Musical tee shirt, etc...Do you know what worked?!?! Let's backtrack: I stopped in WF partly to grab one of those White Chocolate Macadamia Cliff Bars that all of you girls keep raving about... I asked the girl if she wanted to sit down in the isle and split it with me. Once I opened up the package, i knew I had her! hahah. Not only is that bar delicious but it was a lifesaver. She ate the whole thing! ( i did try a piece though and ya'll are right--it's goooood!)
  
  Finally with the girl sitting down without running off or in tears, I offered to stay with her while the mom went to go do her grocery shopping. One of the WF boys helped us out and gave us some Snackimals cookies and juice boxes to keep us occupied ;) I found out from the girl (Skyler/ 12 y.o.) that her mom had died from leukemia and her dad wanted nothing to do with her bc he lived in Florida... She is also being adopted next week! What a stressful time for her!
  
  About 20 min later, her "mom" finished her shopping and came back for her and her son who was also hanging out with us. The best part is that when we were hanging out and talking about how cute Zach Efron is, she told me that her HSM shirt was too small (length-wise).. I told her that she should ask her mom nicely to get her a new High School Musical 2 &3 shirt if she shows her she can be good. I also taught her how to use her girlish charm by "batting her eyes and smiling really big and it would work every time! hahah. (bad lessons, i know!) yes, we practiced batting our eyes while sitting and munching on Snackimals! So when her mom came back, she absolutely batted her eyes with this huge pleasing grin and said "If' i'm good, can you get me a new HS Musical shirt?" Mom said yes and I replied "seeeee, works every time!" hahaha.
  
  Skyler gave me a huge hug upon leaving and told me I was her best friend... aww, what a sweet girl! Can i adopt her?! ha, if only. I checked out and headed home for a much needed nap!
  
• Got home and ended up cleaning the entire downstairs of my condo to compliment my new flowers ;) Rewarded myself with this HUGE mug/bowl of iced chocolate almond milk with vanilla stevia and soy whip cream.. holllller! ha :)
  
  The phone is in there for size reference ;)
  
  

• About 8:30, I was finally hungry for some dindin.. Instead of photographing my FM buys, I figured I'd photograph a salad I made with all of 'em! This HUGE salad (which is the first one that i couldn't finish!) included arugula, rainbow chard, jumbo asparagus, crimini mushrooms, garlic onions, broccoli, POPS Parmesan & Garlic, with TJs eggplant hummus!

• Tonight, I'm just chillaxin (yes, i just used that word!)!! Tomorrow= dance class if I can manage through it with my gimp knee.
  
• Last night, some girlfriends and I saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.. cute movie. Not an Oscar nominee but entertaining nonetheless :) We also went to sushi and I ordered spring rolls thinking they were the ones wrapped in rice paper.. Didn't realize they were DEEP FRIED! Yuck aka Freakout aka What do I do now?! I ate the inside of one and a couple pieces of tuna before calling it quits. Luckily, i blamed it on the huge wrap I had for lunch!
  
• Lastly, for those that asked, the graduate schools that I plan to apply to (getting accepted is a whole other worry) include:
  - Columbia (Masters of Science in Education and Neuroscience)
  - San Francisco State (Masters in Psychological Research with focus in Cog. Science)
  - UC Davis (Ph.D in neuroscience and cognitive science)
  - UC Irvine (same program but I really dont want to stay in So Cal)
  - UC Berkeley (Yes, stef! hahah i'm applying there too!) (Same as UCI and UCD)
  - University of Arizona (Same as above)
  
  My first choice is the Columbia because of their program, then SFSU because of the area!! We'll see! I start my GRE course for the second time, tomorrow. Hopefully it goes better this time around!
  
• OFF TO BED! Looking forward to catching up on everyone's weekend extravaganzas!

TGIF...BP...ED...FYI...TTYL...OMG...

That reminds me... My mom and I once were laughing at one of her adolescent psych patients who kept using abbreviations in a family therapy session so we tried to see how long we could go in a conversation using them! It was too funny :)

• 
  Roses:
• - It's Friday!!!
  
• - Thanks to advice of the lovely Stef, I found ED group therapy right near my house.

- I have figured out where I'm applying to graduate school!! It feels like a huge weight lifted now that I have some sense of direction!

- Tonight, I'm going to happy hour and the the movies with a couple of girlfriends. Planning to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.. Let's hope it's good!

- Tomorrow is Saturday which means: Farmers Market! My mom is coming with me to see what the hype is about and I can't wait to get new veggies!

- I went to ZPizza yesterday with a girl who I used to work with and did you know they have a pizza called the Berkeley?!?! It's a veggie pizza with soy cheese and tofu burger crumbles on top! yum!!

- I opened up a new bank account and got a $150 gas and grocery card of my choice.. I absolutely picked Trader Joes and Arco gas!! If it's free, it's for meeee!

... onto the THORNS of the last few days:

- Had a BP last night after therapy Thursday :( Talked about how I've been frustrated with the (healthy & muscle) weight that I've put back on and that I feel I've lost my ability to restrict due to the fear of hunger. I completely had a Freudian slip, which she caught, when I referred to the days I restricted and said "back when i was good"... oops. Referencing my ed days as "good" definitely opened my eyes that I still have some work to accomplish.

- A lot of my frustration this week has been to a knee injury on the back of my knee. I kept hoping it would resolve itself so I wouldn't have to pay the insane copay amount to see a specialist. I feel like it's getting worse because I keep pushing it so maybe it's time to just bite the bullet and go see someone. I don't know if it's the acl in my knee or the hamstring in my knee.. all i know about knees is that mine are wrecked from ballet. I think it could be a strain but I'm far from a doctor!

- Knee pain= shitty morning jog= morning walk= lack of exercise = feeling blah = ed talk regarding food.

- I've been hungry/snacking all week! I think part of it is due to the progesterone pills my doctor gave me to jump-start my "girl time of the month" which I've read increases your metabolism a bit= hungry more. Let's hope this resolves itself.. in both areas! It's been over a year since I've had to visit that section of the drug store...

-Those have really been the only thorns of this week but it's given me that Debbie the Downer attitude and I'm trying to pull myself out.

In other news....

CONGRATULATIONS to Stef of More to Life Than Lettuce, who got accepted into Cal!

I must give a shout out to Margarida because I am so proud of her recent recovery and she wrote me the sweetest message that nearly brought me to tears :) Thank you, love!

TGIF and Hope y'all have a GREAT night!

Wait...They dont love you like I love you...

I just bought the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs' cd off iTunes, which is great.. but Maps is still my favorite song of theirs and that's where the title/lyrics come from...

It's been a rough-negative self talk-hate the healthy weight-type of week! Part of it has been a result of not being able to exercise/go for a walk on my lunch break because of people calling in sick and myself having to cover for them. Even though my lunch workouts went on hiatus, my hunger sure hasn't and it's frustrating the eff out of me! I feel like my eating is completely the opposite of intuitive! too much snacking! grrrr...

I also freaked out when my size 0 pants fit me on Monday without having to use a belt... I know that I've gained a lot of muscle back, which I can tell from being able to make it through my dance classes, but I look in the mirror now and think.. 'yuck!' I keep wanting to restrict but my hunger hasn't allowed for it.. it's like I've forgotten how, which i guess is good. So although it may be corny, but that's where the lyrics come in.. i feel like i still share a love/hate relationship with ed and although I'm ashamed to say this, i find myself missing it. Has anyone else felt like this?

In other news, Stef mentioned the HBO show In Treatment in her blog and I just wanted to reiterate how awesome that show is! The therapist in there is gooood! It makes me want to analyze myself.. or go to him so he can do it!

Since I've been on a black beans/bbq/salad fix for the last week, I haven't been taking pictures of meals.. So I am following Stef's lead and positing a couple pictures from when I was in France...

Inside the Louvre... I can't get enough of this museum!

Before ED became a #1 priority, I actually enjoyed French crepes with Nutella..

What a thought!

In the Champagne region of France.. We went to see how champagne was made..

This isn't supposed to be a picture of me, but instead, the 6 bottles of champagne that I brought back to Paris which took up their own seat next to me :)

Please still keep Jenna in your thoughts and make sure to read her last post.. but make sure you have some Kleenex around! It's amazing how she's taking such a tragedy and turning it into a positive project/goal.

Happy Wednesday aka Hump Day... Hope everyone has a lovely day!

Love At First Type ;)

Good Afternoon!!

Hope y'all are having a great start to a new week and had a wonderful weekend as well! I'm still trying to catch up on commenting/viewing everyone's blog! It's been a busy weekend!

Saturday...

• Started out rough with a horrible headache and BP hangover... Consequently, Kiki did not get her morning run and kept reminding me as she whined while I sipped on green tea.
  
  
• I was going to head to the Hollywood Farmers Market but I HATE the LA drive with a passion so I hit up the local UCI one. It was buzzing with people and put a much better spin on the morning!

I also hit up Trader Joe's next door where the cashier was very easy on the eye ;) Let's just say that I found which TJs i'll be revisiting! I also bought a jujube (red chinese date) at the FM... interesting.. not as sweet as regular dates.. It was my first time trying them.

I also splurged and bought this bracelet for myself that reads "Follow Your Passion"... I had been looking at it for weeks and this Saturday, they were 20% off.

• After, I hit the gym for an hour and had one of those intense-sweat sessions... Felt soooo much better!
  

Finally after going back and forth, and with friends' encouragement, I lost my virginity to Apple... There was a $200 rebate for the Macbook that ended on Sunday so I went for it.. Plus, our IT guy offered to upgrade it for me! Booya! I picked it up that day.. and felt bad for those poor cashiers who had to deal with me straight from my gym workout. yuck!

• Finished the night by joining my family for dinner at CPK. Since my lunch consisted of fruit samples at the FM, I got the LARGE bbq ranch chicken salad (without chicken or cheese.. or tortilla strips.. basically lettuce, black beans, tomatoes and corn) and ate the entire thing... To which my aunt replied "wow, i'm impressed"
• I think i'm on some kind of bbq fix lately which is weird because i used to hate bbq sauce!!
  

Sunday....

• I was up bright at early at 5 am because I was volunteering for Working Wardrobes and they were putting on an event: Womens Day of Self Esteem
  
• About 160 women from local shelters, who were recovering from life crises (ie: drug addiction, abusive relationships, ect) came and received a complete makeover, new outfits, professional headshots and a career fair, in order to boos their self esteem and get them back into the workforce.
  
• I have never been a part of anything like this and it was so awesome and rewarding. I got to be one of the personal shoppers for the women and put outfits together.. Let me tell ya, Orange County is the perfect place to hold an event like this because there were so many clothes from the rich newport soccer moms who wear their gucci purse once then decide to discard it! These women were coming out of ths event with nice brands than I have! (that is until Target decides to start selling gucci ;) ) One of the girls I dressed was picked to be in the fashion show at the end and she was so cute and giddy!
  
• Since the lunch at the event consisted of sausage and cheese penne with some old romaine lettuce (barf-o-rama), i went home and devoured this baby:
  
  

  Spinach wrap stuffed with 1/4 cup of pinto beans, broccoli, zucchini and soy cheese.. I absolutely topped it off with some sour cream :)

• The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. I cancelled a "casual date" i had planned because I was exhausted and was not in the mood to put on a Poker Face (insert Lady Gaga here)... I ended up taking a nap for an hour and then ate what felt like wayyyy too much Fage and cereal! Feeling SO stuffed, I went to the gym to stairmaster it up and then topped it off with window shopping at this big outdoor shopping mall.

• The best part: I was in bed by 9:30! Who am i and when did 24 become the new 94?!
  

Today

• ...has been pretty uneventful.. I am feeling somewhat guilty for all the money spent on a new laptop and the parts for the upgrade! I am so frugal with my money so to spend over a grand in one weekend freaks me out a bit! I guess it will be worth it in the long run though.
  
  

I also wanted to say that I'm keeping Jenna & her family in my thoughts and hope everyone is doing the same! What a reminder how much life can change in the blink of an eye and to value every minute!

Have a wonderful Monday!!!

2 Percent 47 Percent of the Time...

Awww, that title reminds me of my university days spent in a statistics classroom, wanting to pull my hair out! :)

What's the meaning behind the title? I'll get to that in just a bit... But first: Today has been such a mixed bag of emotions, good and bad. Let's start with the bad and end on a good note...

Had a BP episode tonight... #2 in 2009 and I think it came from the following triggers:

• A day of snacking instead of actual, sitdown, mindful meals. .. A salad here, some veggies and cheese there, some yogurt.. a little bit of this, a little bit of that, which made it so that I was never completely full and ended up being hungry every couple hours. It felt scattered and unorganized...
  
• After planning on a light dinner, I took my grandma to Mother's Market for dinner and my veggie pasta that I ordered was tossed in oil, despite my "light sauce/oil" request. I felt ruined but was determined to let myself enjoy it.
  
• Dealing with the mixed feelings of healthy weight gain...
  
• Therapy last night with my mom, my T referenced my ED regarding how I responded to a recent situation.. she said somthing along the lines of "blah blah blah, since you've been having a hard time with food, especially the last few months.. etc etc"... The last few months?! Try the last few years! I completely lost sight of whatever it is she was acutally talking about. I wonder if part of tonights bp slip came from needing to prove that there actually was a problem and i wasn't faking it? i dont know.. Her comment made me realize how much of a facade I put on to show that everything is okay and i'm this strong/independent/nothing-will-affect-me-attitude type of person.. Maybe it's okay to show that I'm not perfect all the time.. I'm only 98 percent perfect 72 percent of the time ;) jk, and no, that's not what the title is from!

OK, Enough of that.. On to the perks of the day:

• Aside from my veggies and oil dinner, I picked up some sweet groceries from Mother's Market, courtesy of Grandma! Check it out!

Annies bunny-grahams, Chocolate AND Vanilla Almond Breeze, Yogi Green Tea, Wallaby Yogurt, Rocs Rolls (not sure if i have the name correct but they are a variety of flavored cookies that are low in sugar.. i got lemon and vanilla flavor), Sunspire Chocolate Chips, 0%Fage, and yes, that's right: 2% Fage!!

This is where the meaning of my title comes from.. I've never tried 2% Fage, much less 2% yogurt at all! But thanks to Miss Jaime and her talk about how creamy it was, I had to give it a try.

The Verdict: She's right! It's absolutely creamy and delicious but I'm not sure if I could handle it everyday because it's so rich. A little definitely goes a long way though!! I feel satisfied after just eating a little bit versus my endless bowls of 0%!!

• Another "rose" of the week is that I was very productive, not only with shitty work stuff, but also with researching graduate schools. I found a few programs that i'm really interested in applying to!...One step closer!! holllller! My packets of printed information below aka this weekends reading material! :)

• I made Eggless Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough that is intended to be kept as cookie dough instead of cooked... Of course, I tailored the orginal recipe and this is what I came up with:

Lauren's Protein Eggless Cookie Dough

1/4 cup whole wheat flour
2 Tbsp. Graham flour (bc i like the graham taste)
2 Tbsp Vital Wheat Gluten
1/2 cup Oat Bran
(you can use oatmeal or flour if you prefer.. I didnt have oatmeal and wanted to make it a little healthy)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda (dont leave this out!)
1/2 cup applesauce
(the orginal recipe calls for butter. To each their own)
1/4 cup brown sugar
6-7 Liquid Stevia drops
(recipe also called for additional cup of white sugar but I prefered Stevia)
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 cup vanilla protein powder
(you can use milk powder too)
1/4 cup chocolate chips
warm water to texture

Mix all the dry ingredients first and then add the wet. Refridgerate for an hour if you can make it that long! If you want the original recipe before I altered it, click here.

This was the end result and it was soooooo good!!

• Tomorrow is the Famer's Market and I plan to get a good workout in beforehand. So excited to see what spring veggies are there this week! (I haven't been in a couple weeks!)
  
• I also get to sleep in tomorrow!!
  
• I really have to give a big fatty thank you to all you girls out there! It's such a supportive community and being able to relate/read similar stories/receive advice, makes recovery seems so much more attainable :) Luv u all!
  
• I need advice: Stef, I think you have a macbook and before I click the purchase button to order mine, I just need to know from anyone out there that has one how you like it and if it was difficult making a switch over from PC...
  
• Lastly, here's an email I got with some great new veggie recipes...

Good night ladies.. it's bedtime!

L