Feeling: super anxious. frustrated. like my emotions are all over the place.
Because: my GRE test is tomorrow. standardized tests are not my forte.
Why else: Because unlike some of the stupid food things that I obsess and worry about, this is something that WILL actually matter a year from now. I hate my day job now and want to go back to grad school to do something i actually enjoy but worried this test will prevent that.
The Result: stress snacking. Pho soup for dinnr but then for a PM snack: bowl of yogurt, cereal, 1/4 cup fro yo, carob chips, PB2, hot chocolate and 2 cups of tea.
Feeling: overly full and wanting to give into old behaviors. also wanting to restrict tomorrow and run it all off! not wanting to focus on studying. feeling that since i'm afraid i'll fail, i might as well just not study.
Not sure where to go from here. Maybe it will be better after tomorrow? Let's hope.
Got to get back to trying to be productive.
Friday, March 20, 2009
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Breathe!!
ReplyDeleteIt will be ok. It's perfectly natural for you to be stressing out right now, the night before a big test is enough to make ANYONE anxious and stress eat, even the most "intuitive" of eaters! It's so great that you can pinpoint exactly what is causing you to feel this way and you can anticipate the ways that ED might try to sneak in to your day tomorrow and throw you off! I think I detect a bit of the typical ED black or white thinking when you talk about being afraid to fail so thinking you just shouldn't study at all! I'm all too familiar with that feeling of "eff it, I'm going to lose/fail/binge/whatever anyway, so I might as well do what I want right now" but it never helps anything!
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, you can and will do your very best on the GRE and whatever happens you'll be ok. You're such an amazing person, and just like the numbers on the scale, the numbers on the GRE don't determine EVERYTHING! Sure, they matter more than an arbitrary weight, but you know what I mean? Grad schools will look at you as a whole person, and your experience and brilliance says a whole lot more than some stupid test!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Good luck with your exam tomorrow!! I'll be thinking of you - I have every confidence that you'll rock it. I know how a bad case of nerves/anxiety can wreak havoc on your emotions and resorting to familiar behaviors seems like it'll cure that tension - but in reality, it's such a temporary 'fix' - I think it speaks volumes that you can identify what's triggering these thoughts, now you just have to find another outlet (easier said than done, I know).
ReplyDeleteYou've been studying for this for such a long time; you're bright and motivated and you have loads to offer any academic institution - they'd be lucky to have you!! I hope you do something fun and relaxing after your test - you deserve some pampering!!
oh sweetie you can't give up now! you have to do the test and prove that ED sucks and you're better than this! we're both having bad days and i know it costs so damn much :( just try hard until the test and then take some time to yourself..you deserve and you NEED that time and after that you'll see that you're gonna feel a lot better lovie :)
ReplyDeletei'm here for you if you need me, we must support each other!
please, be strong. you can do it, i know!
good luck girl
<3 u!
I am sorry you are having a stressful day. It is totally normal for you to be stressed out right now. Just take a deep breath and remember that you studied hard and are going to do fine. Do not let Ed distract you from what is important. You can do this girl!!!
ReplyDeletegoodluck with the studying and exams hun, remeber you can do anything thats thrown your way, as long as you believe in yourself!
ReplyDeletexxxx
good luck on your test!!
ReplyDeleteI am also horrible with standardized testing...too bad i have to take the SAT :\
I am sorry you're having a bad day :( Good luck witht the studying! You're gonna rock the GRE!!! :)
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