That reminds me... My mom and I once were laughing at one of her adolescent psych patients who kept using abbreviations in a family therapy session so we tried to see how long we could go in a conversation using them! It was too funny :)
Roses:- - It's Friday!!!
- - Thanks to advice of the lovely Stef, I found ED group therapy right near my house.
- I have figured out where I'm applying to graduate school!! It feels like a huge weight lifted now that I have some sense of direction!
- Tonight, I'm going to happy hour and the the movies with a couple of girlfriends. Planning to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.. Let's hope it's good!
- Tomorrow is Saturday which means: Farmers Market! My mom is coming with me to see what the hype is about and I can't wait to get new veggies!
- I went to ZPizza yesterday with a girl who I used to work with and did you know they have a pizza called the Berkeley?!?! It's a veggie pizza with soy cheese and tofu burger crumbles on top! yum!!
- I opened up a new bank account and got a $150 gas and grocery card of my choice.. I absolutely picked Trader Joes and Arco gas!! If it's free, it's for meeee!
... onto the THORNS of the last few days:
- Had a BP last night after therapy Thursday :( Talked about how I've been frustrated with the (healthy & muscle) weight that I've put back on and that I feel I've lost my ability to restrict due to the fear of hunger. I completely had a Freudian slip, which she caught, when I referred to the days I restricted and said "back when i was good"... oops. Referencing my ed days as "good" definitely opened my eyes that I still have some work to accomplish.
- A lot of my frustration this week has been to a knee injury on the back of my knee. I kept hoping it would resolve itself so I wouldn't have to pay the insane copay amount to see a specialist. I feel like it's getting worse because I keep pushing it so maybe it's time to just bite the bullet and go see someone. I don't know if it's the acl in my knee or the hamstring in my knee.. all i know about knees is that mine are wrecked from ballet. I think it could be a strain but I'm far from a doctor!
- Knee pain= shitty morning jog= morning walk= lack of exercise = feeling blah = ed talk regarding food.
- I've been hungry/snacking all week! I think part of it is due to the progesterone pills my doctor gave me to jump-start my "girl time of the month" which I've read increases your metabolism a bit= hungry more. Let's hope this resolves itself.. in both areas! It's been over a year since I've had to visit that section of the drug store...
-Those have really been the only thorns of this week but it's given me that Debbie the Downer attitude and I'm trying to pull myself out.
In other news....
CONGRATULATIONS to Stef of More to Life Than Lettuce, who got accepted into Cal!
I must give a shout out to Margarida because I am so proud of her recent recovery and she wrote me the sweetest message that nearly brought me to tears :) Thank you, love!
TGIF and Hope y'all have a GREAT night!
So...where are you applying to grad school? And where is the ED group therapy? I've been thinking that could be good for me, and I know we live close. I love ZPizza, by the way, though I always get the margherita one (or whatever it's called). Mmmm... I still have to check out that Farmers Market! And I want to see the movie you're seeing too! Such exciting things. I'm totally jealous about your TJs and Arco cards!
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting about the Freudian slip. I've done those before. It makes me realize how much I'm still wired for the ED, and how much I have to really fight my brain. Sigh... I'm sorry to hear about your knee pain. You should probably see a doctor, just for peace of mind, if nothing else...
Aww THANK YOU! Big smile over here! HAHA I KNEW that therapists and everyone talk about their patients ;)
ReplyDeleteI shouldn't laugh too hard, I'm such an abbrevs abuser! Where'd you decide to apply for grad school? *say Berkeley, say Berkeley!* Cmon, it's a sign, even your new pizza find is a sign that you should apply!!!
I'm sorry about your rough Thursday night...it's so interesting how intense therapy sessions tend to trigger b/ps for everyone! I had the exact same Freudian slip today when talking to my dietitian! She was like "being "good" at restriction is NOT something to aspire to, stop saying that!" haha oops
Have fun at the market tomorrow, hope you find lots of yummy things! Maybe some more summer fruit will be in season? NOM!
glad you have found therapy nearby! when do you start? which schools are you applying to? that's really exciting! Berkeley pizza sounds FAB! Lol- did you order it?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the "thorns" in your week...don't let them get you down. The most beautiful roses have thorns and without rain there would be no rainbows. Negatives don't counteract the psitives, they just highlight the contrast xxx
Just found your blog and I really can relate to a lot of what you say.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you can take care of the knee - I have a bum knee too, and have finally decided to see a specialist after years (literally) of "getting by".
Enjoy the Farmers Market - I go to the Hollywood Market every Sunday; it's part of my weekend ritual.
Ooh, where are you applying for school? How exciting :) it's so much fun planning that sort of thing! I hope you had fun with your friends last night x
ReplyDeletehey girl!
ReplyDeleteyay for grad school! what are you looking to study?!
those abbrevs (haha) had me cracking up! they are convenient, i guess, but so obnoxious sometimes!
i love how you post in "roses" and "thorns" categories -- it's really interesting. i know some of those thorns are tough, like the b/p episode and your knee pain, but it's all those little things that, as you become aware of them and acknowledge them, will become less and less of an obstacle in the future -- stay strong!
have a wonderful saturday!
Congrats on figuring out a grad school! That is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, so you should be super proud!
ReplyDeleteI love Farmer's Markets, and they make me so happy that it is spring and will be summer soon. All that fresh produce is so fantastic.
Hope your knee heals soon!
Im glad that you found a therapy group nearby! that should make it a little easier to get in the habit of going - my problem is usually, that i dont mind being there, but i hate how long it takes to get there. blahh.
ReplyDeleteby the way, you really had me confused with the roses at first...but then i saw the thorns and kinda put two and two together. blonde moment :)
i still find myself refering to my old self as good and controlled...and this 'new' self of me to be out of control and bad. we'll break free of it soon enough...i hope!
i hope that you have a fabulous weekend - and let me know if that movie was any good!!
Elle,
ReplyDeleteIt's been over a year for me too... not sure I'm looking forward to that lovely little visitor.
But that ZPizza news=fanfreakin awesome.
Have a great Sunday sweetie!
With Love,
Emily